Making men: Year 9 boys' experience of rites of passage program

The result for Dr Kingsman, a researcher and lecturer in the QUT School of Education, was her recently published PhD and a call for such programs to integrate conversations on gender equity and the need to actively challenge misogyny and its attendant power imbalances.

“Boys today grow up in a world flooded with confusing and harmful messages about what it means to be a man,” she said.

“Adolescent boys are on the brink of adulthood in a time of the manosphere and its marked backlash against women – the rise in intimate violence, the outright hostility and misogyny of social media influencers, like the Tate brothers, and incel culture.

“Rites of passage programs aimed at supporting adolescent boys reach healthy manhood can be powerful conduits for cultural change by equipping them to resist messages that being a man is about exercising dominance, control and aggression.

“To help counter adoption of these ideas, rites of passage programs need to explicitly engage boys in conversations about gender equity, emotional literacy, and gendered power.”

While these are important outcomes, Dr Kingsman says that boys also needed to learn within these programs to recognise gendered power imbalances, such as when girls’ and women’s voices or achievements are minimised, dismissed, or treated as threats, and be encouraged to challenge those attitudes.

“It’s not enough to say, ‘don’t be like Andrew Tate’ – they need to see the harm caused by such ideas and be shown better role models and healthier ways to express masculinity," Dr Kingsman said.

“Rites of passage programs need strengthening by teaching boys to share power, listen actively, and build respectful, healthy relationships with girls and with their peers.

“When boys develop emotional literacy, empathy, and mutual respect, they become better partners, leaders, and community members. This growth benefits families, schools, communities – and the boys themselves.”

For her study, Dr Kingsman interviewed 13 adolescent boys in-depth at three strategic junctures during the year-long program, which was delivered through fortnightly workshops, challenges or retreats and culminated in a bush experience.

One notable insight from the boys’ reflections was the central role of their mothers in their journey to adulthood – not just as caregivers, but as emotional guides who shaped their empathy, maturity, and capacity for vulnerability.

“Mothers were seen not just as caregivers, but as active guides who helped shape their emotional intelligence, empathy, and relational depth," Dr Kingsman said.

“Many boys spoke of being taught to value maturity, kindness, and respect for others, particularly girls.

“At the same time, the boys described a strong cultural expectation that it should be their fathers who shaped their path to manhood.

“Fathers were often linked to stoicism, strength and toughness – qualities boys believed they were meant to emulate.

“Yet their reflections revealed a quiet tension – while they felt they should model themselves after their fathers, it was often their mothers who offered the emotional intimacy and guidance they most valued.

“This internal contradiction points to the narrow and sometimes conflicting gender norms boys are navigating as they seek out meaningful role models.”

Dr Kingsman said students were given hands-on challenges designed to build teamwork and resilience, such as making juggling balls from balloons and rice.

“Some boys initially thought it was a pointless activity," she said.

"But later they reflected on it as being a meaningful life-lesson. One mentioned how he had got to help one of the ‘cool kids’ complete the task, but most said they came away realising they could do ‘hard things’ – that they could push through frustration and work together to achieve something.

“They were also asked questions to encourage vulnerability and sharing: ‘have you ever been in a fight?’, ‘who initiated it?’, ‘what makes you cry?’.

“For many of the boys, the most impactful experience of the rites of passage program was the camp.

“During the camp, they engaged in activities designed to challenge them personally – such as the ‘solo,’ where they spent a night alone in nature – as well as team-building tasks, like working in groups to construct shelters using tarps.”

Rites of passage programs offer more than just activities: they provide crucial spaces where boys can explore their identities, build meaningful connections, and develop the emotional skills needed to become healthy men, she says.

"However, rites of passage programs remain a largely untapped opportunity to address boys’ roles in both perpetuating and challenging gender inequality," Dr Kingsman said.

“Beyond building emotional skills, they need to help boys recognise male privilege, understand the backlash that often accompanies progress toward gender equity, and resist harmful influences like misogyny and incel culture.

“With the right approach, these programs can challenge limiting ideas about masculinity and empower boys to drive transformative cultural change.”

Dr Kingsman’s PhD thesis Making Men: Investigating Adolescent Boys' Experiences of a School-Based Rites of Passage Program (2024) is available here.