Domestic violence perpetrators use humiliating and intimidating tactics similar to those of terrorists to bring a partner under their control, a new book, Romantic Terrorism, co-authored by criminologist Associate Professor Sharon Hayes, from QUT's School of Justice, and Dr Samantha Jeffries, argues.
Professor Hayes said that in 2012 alone 43,600 women worldwide died at the hands of an intimate partner compared to 11,098 terrorist casualties.
She said Australia should recognise coercive control, often the precursor of the killing of a partner, as a form of non-physical domestic violence, and introduce laws similar to the UK which has legislated against coercive control and handles such cases in a domestic violence court.
"A lot of domestic violence comment at the moment focusses on women being killed by their partners," Professor Hayes said.
"But we are overlooking the lead-up to this ultimate act of violence. For many women killed by their partner, their murder is the first act of physical violence from that partner after enduring years of coercive control, which we have termed 'romantic terrorism' because of its similarity with methods terrorists use to bring hostages under psychological control."
Professor Hayes said romantic terrorists used intimidation, public and private humiliation, and standover tactics so that the victim became too frightened to do anything other than comply.
"They will also threaten to break or harm something she holds dear such as an animal or sentimental object, as well as threatening to take the children or kill them.
"They demand the performance of demeaning tasks according to their rules: 'the housework must be done to this standard by this time'.
"They use degradation and emotional unkindness to undermine the person's self-esteem such as telling them they are stupid, constantly criticising them, and making them feel less than other people.
"Another common tactic is to restrict the person's personal territory and freedom by removing resources such as money or access to a car, and moving to another city where there is no family or support network.
"And finally there is the tactic which we call 'crazy making'; it's a psychological tactic to make the victim feel s/he is wrong and the abuser is right about basic facts so that the victim ends up doubting their own sanity."
Professor Hayes stressed that anyone could be a victim of romantic terrorism: a man or a woman can be the abuser in a relationship.
"The book contains case studies of two educated, well-off, highly aware women who were sucked into an abusive relationship to illustrate this sort of emotional violence happens to everyone."
She said two common red flags of a potential romantic terrorist were:
1.Love-bombing: "they shower presents and compliments on the intended victim; they tell their victim s/he is the best thing that's ever happened to them."
2.They are upfront in saying they have a flaw - such as an unhappy or abusive childhood - and say they need the victim to understand and help them.
"It is only when the victim has committed do their true colours come out," Professor Hayes said.
"We need much more public awareness so that women can identify it; we need access to free counselling with a counsellor skilled in dealing with coercive control.
"We must acknowledge that anyone can be a victim including men and same-sex couples.
"These emotional tactics should be brought before the courts, before the harm escalates."
Media contact: Niki Widdowson, QUT media, 07 3138 2999 or n.widdowson@qut.edu.au
