Most, if not all, managers have faced the inevitable of needing to have a difficult conversation with an employee. To help you navigate those often awkward moments, Professor Cameron Newton, Head of QUT School of Management, shares a five-point roadmap for resolving conflicts and building better working relationships.
A difficult conversation is any conversation where one or both parties experience anxiety, discomfort or heightened negative feelings. Everyone has had one of these conversations, perhaps involving a situation where you do not know what to say, a topic you would rather not talk about, a difference of opinions, the airing of a grievance, or the need to deliver bad news.
In the workplace, managers will need to have difficult conversations with colleagues and employees from time to time. The best way to handle these potentially stressful situations is to prepare for it in advance, and there are constructive strategies to help manage emotions in a sensitive way and achieve the best mutual outcome. Potentially difficult conversations can actually provide opportunities for growth, and, if handled well, can help resolve conflicts and build stronger and more open relationships.
Before initiating a difficult conversation, think about its purpose (including the desired outcome and the information to be shared to achieve this outcome), and anticipate the different perspectives, assumptions and emotional triggers of all parties that might get in the way. The more thought preparation prior to the conversation, the less likely it will become muddled and go pear-shaped.
Open the conversation with a sense of inquiry – put aside your views and invite the other person to share theirs, without judging, interrupting them, or taking personal issue.
Acknowledge their feelings to show they have been heard and understood, but keep acknowledgement and agreement separate.
When you sense the other person has finished expressing their viewpoint, advocate for them and support their position, without minimising your own.
Finally, problem-solve and build solutions together and agree on a way forward.
If you have been successful in listening, centring, adjusting your attitude, and engaging in inquiry with genuine interest and useful purpose, building sustainable solutions after a difficult conversation will be easier.
More about Cameron
Professor Cameron Newton is Head, School of Management at the QUT Business School. He has a PhD in Organisational Psychology, in which his research focused on organisational culture, work stressors, and employee wellbeing. Professor Newton is also a registered psychologist and supervisor for the Australian Board of Psychologists.